Resolve
by Kukasabe Swift
Summary: 'If you hadn't pushed me away that day, and if I had died instead of you, you would have no reason to change your resolve. You wouldn't have needed a utopia to see Rin, because if we had switched roles, you would already be living in your utopia.' In which Kakashi wonders if Obito would've made the world a better place. [Image not mine]


It's strange. If I were the one who had been buried under that boulder that day and made you promise to protect Rin, I wonder... would I have turned out like you?

No... there wouldn't be trigger.

You wouldn't have made the same mistake I did. You wouldn't have killed Rin, and I wouldn't have any reason to change my resolve. I wouldn't have gotten angry, and Madara wouldn't have convinced me to join him—at best, I would be a thorn at his side, covertly aiming to sabotage his plans. But if my mind was corrupted, at least the sight of you and Rin would snap me from my dark reverie, and pull me up from the deep waters of depression.

Yet we've encountered each other before, haven't we, Obito? I was with Gai and our genin teams at that time. You were extremely playful and idiotic and oh-so slippery with your escaping jutsu that it pissed us off to no end. But it was you all along, Obito. That playfulness and idiocy could only belong to you.

Were you acting? It must've been hard, seeing me again for—what?—twenty years? You probably wanted to send me spiraling in a genjutsu that would torment me for days (when in reality it would only do so for mere minutes). You probably wanted to reveal yourself and guilt-trip me until I could be crying at your feet, my nose touching the musty ground because _that's_ how far I would bow down in front of you. But you didn't reveal yourself.

When you had revealed your sharingan, my mind did somersaults. _Sharingan_ echoed itself into my mind, clawing at my brain, digging for any information that could correlate to a man with a rare dojutsu. I was fucking stupid not to think of you.

I suppose it was because I'd already accepted your death. Or maybe my brain thought it was too ridiculous to comprehend.

If we had switched roles, and if you were Team 7's sensei instead of me, would you have acted like Tobi? You would've made a better sensei than me, and you certainly wouldn't have joined ANBU, because you were Tobi, the annoying and childish Tobi, yet still the Obito who aimed for the top.

If we had switched roles, and if I'd given you the chance to pursue your dream, would you have become the Godaime, Obito? Would you have finally attained your dream of becoming Hokage, and rule Konoha as a gallant and respected leader?

If we had switched roles, and if you had become the Godaime, would you have stopped the Uchiha massacre? Would you have united the Uchiha and Konoha together as the first Uchiha Hokage? Would the Senju and the Uchiha finally shake hands in mutual agreement? Would Sasuke cease to suffer from the scars that Konoha inflicted? Would he have lived a better life? Would Itachi be alive? Would Konoha be a better village?

If we had switched roles, and if I'd just stayed dead below that boulder, would the Nine Tails never have attacked? Would Minato still be breathing to this day, treating Naruto ramen until he'd get as fat as Choji? Would Naruto cease to suffer from the scars that Konoha inflicted? Would he have lived a better life? Would Kushina be alive? Would Konoha be a better village?

If we had switched roles, would Orochimaru have been caught sooner? Would Sasuke never succumbed to the Curse of Hatred? Would Sakura have developed faster as a kunoichi? Would Naruto have become better, stronger, and unyielding if you had approached him, unlike I who was afraid of our sensei's son, not because he contained the Nine Tails, but because I failed to do his father proud. Would you have made Team 7 stronger, Obito? Would you have done a better job than I ever did, and let them fly beyond the edge of success?

If we had switched roles, would you have married Rin? Would the two of you have kids, and playfully name one 'Kakashi'? Would your kids grow up to be great ninja that could change not only Konoha, but the face of the world?

Would this war never have happened if we had switched roles, Obito? If I had pushed you away from that boulder in time, and sacrificed myself instead, this wouldn't be happening—none of this shit would be happening, and none of us would be suffering. If I had—I had only—_dammit_—

—would you have led a happy life like you deserved? If you hadn't pushed me away that day, and if I had died instead of you, you would have no reason to change your resolve.

You wouldn't have needed a utopia to see Rin, because if we had switched roles, you would already be living in your utopia.

But no.

I just had to be in the equation.

I just had to get in the way of your dreams.

I just had to be a selfish brat who couldn't snap myself from my dark reverie, and pull myself up from the deep waters of depression.

I just had to—

I just had to—

_Had_ to—

* * *

Would you ever forgive me, Obito?


End file.
